I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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