I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
