My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize