dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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