Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
