I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
