i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
