mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
