Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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