I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
