she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
