Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
