tell your sister to shave her snatch
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
