stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
