I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
