Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just tell him i said nine months
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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