I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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