I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
