I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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