Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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