So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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