Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
