If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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