I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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