WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize