He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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