Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
