Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you would pick up someone in the library
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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