Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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