Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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