Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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