you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
