Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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