Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
