I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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