we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
