I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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