Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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