You're a womanizer and a bitch.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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