friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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