four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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