Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
do herpes really smell.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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