I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
