so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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