I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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