i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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