I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
