as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize