Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
