Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Randomize
