Don't make out with my wife yet
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
