my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
