great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She told me I should be a condom model.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
