i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
