I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i was born a porn star she said
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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