things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
