i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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