Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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