Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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