Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I stole a fireplace last night.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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