Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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