Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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