Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
