if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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