Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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