my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
